To be a physician assistant student is to voluntarily commit to expanding your mind daily for 24-36 months and beyond. I will use this space to share a thing or two I wish I knew. I am thinking back to the moment when pursuing healthcare just felt right. A newly minted 911 dispatcher for Virginia's capital, EMS calls had a hold on me in a way that was impossible to ignore. Five years later, I began the most rigorous training I have personally ever received.

Few experiences can so universally provoke feelings of nervousness, excitement, and anxiety as a first day. Whether it be a first day of school, first day at a new job, or first day of a new clinical rotation, many of us have experienced enough first days in our lives to wonder – how many times before this becomes less awkward?

I am sitting here on my 31st birthday, as a first-year student in my second semester at the Duke University Physician Assistant Program, thinking about all the advice I have received over the years. One of the best pieces of advice was during my second tour of duty to Afghanistan when Dr. Shepherd asked me, “Are PA schools or medical schools going anywhere?” I was slightly confused by the question, but then he said, “If there is any job you want to do before you start PA school, you need to do that first.” That statement stayed with me when my enlistment ended in December of 2014.

I was scribing in a Radiation Oncology clinic in December 2019 when a notification appeared: “Offer of Admission, Duke Physician Assistant Program.” Forgoing all decorum, I let out a loud shriek and informed the physician that I had been accepted.

Since I was a little kid, I have wanted to live in a big city. Growing up in a small town and going to college at a rural state institution left me wanting to be somewhere urban and bustling. I wanted to meet people from all over. So you could say that I was not particularly excited about completing the Duke Physician Assistant Program’s required two rural clinical rotations. When I got my clinical year schedule, I was honestly a little disheartened to see that my first and third rotations were going to be “away rotations.”

After a few weeks of trying to make PA school rigor feel normal, it happened; we received emails, social media posts, and flyers sharing all the optional opportunities available to us. It felt crazy to imagine adding optional things onto a seemingly impossible DPAP schedule. However, when I look back on my time in PA school thus far, I realize all the wonderful things that came from opting in on the optional.

As I am writing this blog, it has been 220 days since the beginning of the lockdown. It has been 90 days since the start of my first semester in Physician Assistant (PA) school. Within these 220 days, my life has changed in ways I never would have imagined, more so within the last 90. This is the story of a student beginning PA school in the midst of a global pandemic.

I’ve had the best day today. I woke up to a fresh pot of coffee and enjoyed a cup on the patio; Durham's weather has shifted from the unforgiving humidity of summer to a much gentler, calm fall climate. I finished breakfast and then geared up for the first virtual lesson of the day: Viruses that Changed the World. Can you think of a more engaging, appropriate topic for 2020? After appreciating every word, I felt such gratitude for public health and the roles of physician assistants (PA).

Soon, I will finish my last clinical rotation as a Duke Physician Assistant (PA) student. I am writing this from the floor of my empty apartment, after packing everything I own into a U-Haul for my move back to Maryland. Two years ago, I looked at this same empty apartment on move-in day, imagining how different my “PA student life” would be from the one I left behind.

Our last school year is about to begin Never thought the day would come! In the midst of COVID-19, this summer break was a relief after a busy first year, and I enjoyed all the time I spent with my family. At the same time, I felt the constant dread of “did I do enough - or anything productive - over break?” Many of my classmates echo my anxiety when we chat. It is the worry of losing all that we gained over the first year that keeps my mind pacing. Thankfully, my partner reassures me over FaceTime each night with “it is called a break for a reason.” This stops my worrying for the next 8 hours that most of what I did over break revolved around the beach.