“Challenging but rewarding.”
This is how many new parents and physician assistant (PA) students alike describe their experience. Now, imagine doing both at the same time. It may be twice as challenging, but it’s all the more rewarding.
In July 2022, my wife and I learned we were expecting identical twins. We were so excited by the news. I was in the interview process for PA schools, and we figured that we would at least have some time to develop a routine at home and have a sense of what our new life looked like before I started a program. Unfortunately, our twins did not survive through pregnancy. There is a lot I could say about the grief, but one thing it did was affirm for us that we were ready to be parents. And so came our daughter. Allie was born on the Thursday prior to orientation week at the Duke PA Program (DPAP). We managed the end of my first career, Allie’s birth, our move to Durham, and the start of the program all within two weeks.
One piece of advice you inevitably hear from PA students is to try to tie up any loose ends in your life before school. It is sage advice, for sure, but it’s not always feasible. I wasn’t sure that I could do this, but other student parents before me proved it was possible. As it happens, I’m not the only parent in the Class of 2025. There are several with school-aged children, with multiple children at home, and even a classmate whose youngest child was born in the middle of this semester.
Life as both a PA student and a new parent can be complicated.
It does require planning ahead and using time wisely. In many ways, Allie is my accountability to get things done. Because I want to enjoy as much time as I can with her, I have to remain committed to focusing on learning efficiently. I also owe my success thus far to my supportive wife, without whom I could not have managed. Her care for Allie has made it possible for me to focus on studying when necessary. A good support system is critical to balancing school and home life. At Duke, you also have the support of a caring faculty. Many of our DPAP instructors have children, some of whom are school-aged or younger. They are eager to share in the stories and experiences of our student-parents. They often ask how we’re doing and celebrate (or commiserate) with us.
There are a lot of perks to being at a school like Duke, and you don’t have to miss out just because you’re a parent.
Duke welcomes families. This fall, we took Allie to her first ESPN College Gameday and her first basketball game at Cameron Indoor Stadium. We’ve taken walks around campus on the weekends and seen many other families with small children. While life is busy, there are still opportunities to enjoy events as a family.
I watch my daughter interact with the world in new ways every day. She encounters something she’s never seen before and approaches it with a sense of discovery. What it must be like to see a new toy, hear a new sound for the first time, or see the sun or the changing leaves in a new way. Allie serves as an inspiration to me when school gets challenging. If she can absorb significant information about life at such a rapid pace, I can learn how to stabilize and treat that orthopedic fracture.
For pre-PA parents, know you don’t have to delay these other aspects of your life. If this is where you are in life, consider whether you and your support system can do both. Know that you will not be alone in it. It has been done before. You can do it, too.
Nick Stewart is a second-year student the Duke Physician Assistant Program. Email nicholas.stewart@duke.edu with questions.
Editor’s note: Duke Physician Assistant Program students blog monthly. Blogs represent the opinion of the author, not the Duke Physician Assistant Program, the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health, or Duke University.